dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
