So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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