yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
