I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
