drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
