I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
