We named our party play list daddy issues
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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