i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
this hospital has no fireball
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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