We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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