Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
