i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
