New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
