I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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