i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
