wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
