I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
