I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
