Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
