He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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