i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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