$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So vagazzling was a success
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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