I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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