I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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