I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I had to cum in my sink.
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