you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
