Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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