Can i not drive my cunt home
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
