i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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