Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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