My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize