i think my tv is drunk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
