he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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