made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
