I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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