Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
