3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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