Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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