i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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