You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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