Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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