just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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