From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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