i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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