You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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