One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
