O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
