you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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