Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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