Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
