I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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