Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
be right there i have to get my cape
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
