When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
