just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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