Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
