Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
