I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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