Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize