Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize