I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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