I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Pooping to opera.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize