I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
